When we talk about emotions, we teach our patients, children, adolescents and/or young people that there are healthy emotions (negative emotions that help us) and unhealthy emotions (negative emotions that do not help us). Train the"Emotional muscle"It involves learning to manage those negative emotions that do not help us and that manifest themselves through non-functional behaviors that do not allow us to achieve our goals and/or resolve conflicts satisfactorily.

It is necessary to teach that negative emotions are part of life and that they are normal, so it is important to train and educate our hij@s so that they are prepared to encounter emotions that they do not like, but that they can learn to live with them, manage them and change them for healthier emotions that provide them with more constructive consequences.

Unhealthy emotions are clinically significant when they are intense, frequent, and long-lasting.

From REBT, anger, depression, anxiety, shame and guilt are considered unhealthy emotions, with anger or anger, sadness, fear, discomfort and grief and regret being healthier:

Restlessness, fear (healthy emotion) are emotions that everyone experiences in certain life experiences. They appear to deal with a situation that your child perceives as a threat and help them cope with the negative consequences it can produce. It is, therefore, a natural reaction of alarm to the perception of potential danger or a loss of control over the environment, such as taking an exam, the moment of separation from parents, darkness, etc.

However, when this restlessness and/or fear is experienced excessively intensely or frequently, it is when anxiety or panic (unhealthy emotion) is experienced, the child is blocked, interferes with the performance of activities of daily living and decreases his/her autonomy.
(constant stomach pain every time you have to do an exam, difficulty falling asleep, sleeping alone, etc.)

Feeling sadness (healthy emotion) is something quite normal and in itself does not indicate a specific mental disorder. Quite simply, it is a psychological reaction that occurs when we are hurt by something or when we are faced with certain difficult circumstances that become a mountain for us.

Sadness is just another human emotion, and it is neither bad nor should we be excessively concerned that at some point our children may feel sad. They may be sad if they argue with a friend, if they have to give up a plan, or they may even feel this way for no apparent reason, perhaps due to a hormonal change or a low mood on a particular day (especially in adolescence).

On the other hand, when the intensity of this sadness increases and becomes a feeling of permanent discomfort and uneasiness, it is when we feel depressed (unhealthy emotion). In those moments, this feeling of depression can paralyze our children, showing non-functional behaviors that interfere with their day-to-day lives.

Anger (unhealthy emotion) is a learned reaction to frustration that almost never serves any purpose and almost always has unintended consequences.

All human beings experience some frustration every day, it's natural for obstacles to interfere with our plans and goals. However, it is not the presence of frustration that upsets us, but our attitude towards it.

Children and/or adolescents who tend to experience any impediment or obstacle in their path as unfair, often manifest anger, are so busy trying to get things on track and justice that they become upset to the point of being unable to cope with the situation and resolve conflicts properly.

In this case, it is important to learn to be more tolerant, to change anger into anger or annoyance, which will allow them to be more decisive and have better skills to resolve conflicts.

Shame (unhealthy emotion) is a feeling that can appear due to a humiliation received, shyness, insecurity, fear of ridicule, it can also appear when social or family norms are transgressed.

Its expression is usually accompanied by physical signs and attitudes, such as hot flashes, a redness of the cheeks or a posture with the gaze directed downwards.

Shame tends to block us from running away from situations that your children may experience as really uncomfortable. It's important to re-educate this emotion to encourage coping strategies.

Guilt (unhealthy emotion) can appear in our children when they lose confidence in themselves and tend to devalue themselves (I'm bad, I don't know how to do anything...) it is important to learn how to manage this emotion to reduce the intensity and help them improve their self-acceptance.


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